The heart of self-compassion is acceptance, love and tenderness. We need to develop a daily, lifelong practice of being kind to ourselves, forgiving and compassionate to ourselves.
Put The Past Behind! I often hear a client say "I thought I put the past behind me but suddenly I found myself thinking hateful thoughts of my ex!" The reality is that until we truly process the feelings, issues or conflicts that brought about divorce it's difficult to put the past behind. Those [...]
Surviving or Thriving – your choice Surviving divorce is one of the most difficult, stressful, confusing, chaotic and painful times in life. Getting through the process is challenging and has many ups and downs. Some people go into denial blame shame or they start numbing –using: alcohol, exercise, TV, Facebook, pornography, overeating All in an [...]
It's never too early to begin rebuilding your life. Starting over is challenging in so many ways and by committing to Rebuilding your life step by step, you'll find it's likely that you won't struggle for long.
Enough and Perfect Psychologists, theologians, and spiritual teachers often espouse that we are enough and perfect as we are. This idea has been popularized most recently in the work of Brene Brown who's recent Ted Talk which focused on our human connection--that is, our ability to empathize, belong and love. Shame is the inner emotional [...]
After my divorce people began asking me –“how’s your love life”? What they were asking about –was I dating anyone, had I found a new “love interest”? The love life that matters most –I discovered- is the one inside of me. Was I in a loving relationship with me? As with most people going through [...]
Fears of Relationship Ending Relationship ending brings many changes. Many of the changes are unwanted, and can lead to more fears- losing friends, how will my family/neighbors/coworkers/church members etc.- view me now? Some fears you have lived with all your life-some you outgrew. Sometimes we have fears that are dormant when we are in a [...]
Recently a student declared that she had anger issues. What exactly did that mean for her? “Well” she said” I often get triggered and then I act in an aggressive way. I have had three marriages, and they all ended because of my anger issues.” As we explored together, it became clear that the surface [...]
Mending a Broken Heart in Five Steps: Accept that you will have to go through some pain. It is an unavoidable truth that if you loved enough to be heartbroken, you have to experience some suffering. When you lose something that mattered to you, it is natural and important to feel sad about it: that [...]